My Learning Experience

As many of you know, my son Declan has special needs. He is 26 now. When he was 9 I helped him to learn how to ride a bike. For about 4 years he had been riding a bike with stabilisers (the 2 little wheels that go either side of the back wheel). That had been fine up to a point but his older brother who would ride next to him, got impatient at the slow speed and would ride off down the passage at the back of our house. Declan would pedal furiously after him but was restricted by the maximum speed he could attain using the stabilisers. One day I noticed that the one of the stabilisers often was in the air while Declan was pedaling. Then the bike would rock back onto it so the other stabilizer was in the air. I noticed that this happened frequently. So over a period of days I gradually raised the height of each stabilizer so that it spent less and less time on the ground. Declan was riding a bike normally without realizing it.

The hardest part came when I removed one of the stabilisers. Declan was very unsure about allowing me to do this and only allowed me to when I reassured him the bike would not topple over because 1 stabiliser was enough.

Then I kept raising that one until it hardly touched the ground. Dec still didn’t know he could ride a bike. But I did. When I removed the final stabilizer he didn’t want to ride the bike. But I said I would run behind him to catch him. We went up and down the passage for about 2 hours with me running behind him with my hand on his back so he would feel safe. Finally I stopped and he pedaled off on his own. He had learned to ride a bike and he never ever fell off. It is one of the proudest moments of my life.

What was I learning?

That I could teach. Also that people of all abilities can achieve things they wouldn’t even dream of. All that is required is patience, determination and time.

What made the experience so good?

Because it mattered to me. It was not just a learning experience it was an emotional investment. Also I think it mattered because at the outset there was no guarantee of success, although the objective was very clear. And because it was something really worth doing. Dec's life has been greatly enhanced by his ability to ride a bike. But probably not as much by mine was by learning how to help him do it. I also know that he has taught me much more than I will ever teach him.